Saturday, May 03, 2008

My Letter

On Tuesday a very nice and helpful man named Keating called to find out whether or not he could be of any service. "Yes!" I said. "You could be of a lot of service. I've been trying for 12 years now to have my name removed from lists such as the one that you've used to call me today. How do I do it?"

An awkward conversation with nervous chuckling, 15 minutes and a home address later I had my answer.

Today I composed the following:

Dear Bishop Keating (I feel like I should call you Brother Keating because this is how people do it),

I was born Jane (no middle name) Sxxxxxt in Salt Lake City, Utah on August 2, 1970.

My parents had me baptized at the capable-of-understanding-right-from-wrong age of 8. The baptism took place at the Stake Center on 13th South in the Foothills--as far as I can remember.

I have not been a practicing LDS (formerly Mormon) person for at least 20 years (probably longer).

I hereby declare my desire to be removed from any and all lists kept by the LDS church. If possible I'd also like my name removed from baptism for the dead records. I was too young and impressionable to know what I was doing when I performed these baptisms. The whole thing scared me. And still does.

Thank you for your willingness to help me with this matter. You are the first person in 12 years to take this request seriously.

Sincerely, Jane


NFlanders said...

I'm glad you finally got someone to listen you. This is definitely the hardest organization on Earth to quit, except maybe the mob.

They don't tell you anywhere how to get your name removed, and then they're surprised when people are fed up with being contacted.

Anyway, you're nearing the end! Congrats.

Jane said...

I think that you are right--about the quitting and the mob. I got a heavy dose of "kill her with kindness" during the phone call. Which I actually appreciated this one time. It got the job done. I'm sending the letter today. I can't wait to see now if they contact me more or less frequently.